Litany of the Minor Matters

Being a version of Lelia Doolan's closing remarks in the Fleadh Intervention Series, hosted by An Bord Scannán at the Galway Film Fleadh.

Enter a line of trendily dressed-down fellows who sing:
We are the very model of good film administrators
We're helping to develop Irish artists and creators
We know the rights and copyrights and Section 481 and all
But as for reading tedious scripts
That's not our strength at all at all

Chorus of uppity types in designer stubble who mutter:
Administrators -- pray for us
Arrogant Administrators - pray for us
Patronising Administrators - pray for us
Administrators with Opinions - pray for us
Ignorant Administrators with Opinions - pray for us
Administrators compelled to offer Ignorant Opinions -pray for us
Busy Administrators - pray for us
Unavailable Administrators - pray for us
[sorry, he's in a meeting; I'll put you on hold; sorry, you're holding for?; I'll get him to call you back; oh, sorry, he just had to go out/go into another meeting/have a day's leave/take a holiday; would you like his voice mail? sorry, I can't give you his mobile]

Admin Men:
We're not an ATM, you know, we dole out money carefully;
We're saving thousands only having offices in Galway
Though Dublin was a must, of course; we put it to the test -
Executives of top calibre would moulder in the West.

The full article is printed in Film Ireland 100